Tommy Tejeda

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Tommy Tejeda

Friday, October 31, 2025

Happy Halloween

 


Happy Halloween from Poison Ivy 🎃
#happyhalloween


Posted by Tommy T at 10/31/2025 12:37:00 AM No comments:
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Hi welcome to my Blog

Hi welcome to my Blog

About Me

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Tommy T
Underground Lair, California, United States
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it. Btw this is a movie quote from Dr. Evil in Austin Powers International Man of Mystery. Did you really think those were my life details?...Duh!
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